Sunday, June 14, 2020

"Out"

Many people of my generation aren't out though would be.

Talking

Some people feel like a privilege to talk to.  "Oh, yea, I hate school.  Now what?"

Keratin

The keratin treatment went away.

Curly Hair

Why did my hair curl so much and will I ever get it back like it was before?  It's hard to style with a messy palette.  It's frizzy, too.

Dirty

Why does my generation look physically dirty?  It seems to go along with my age.

Some of My Schools

The kids in my classes were so vicious and hateful and spiteful to the world.  It wasn't a pretty picture; we couldn't seem to get all our lessons done seriously and the environment was catered to their every whim.  So, in short, classtime was wasted, and we seemed to get a lot of busywork for some reason in some classes.

School

People who don't like school are tribal.

A Challenge for All

Just because some people aren't as good as Late Boomers, does not mean other people are worse, too.

Saturday, June 13, 2020

I'm not "one of you."

Why do Late Boomers keep shaking their heads at people from my generation?  I'm not one of those people.

Trash

Why are many people who look or are German so mean to me?  Who do you think I am?

Spontaneity

Some cultures are more spontaneous, others want everything fixed and deliberate.

No....

Are 1/2 White 1/2 Asians shy?

Me Singing Now

Abhorring Abuse

Some people are actively making accusations against me prying into my private convictions.

Well?

What do you think of adult beginner courses in piano?

"What is wrong with you?"

Some people get really mad if people think they can try a new hobby.

"A Battle of Wits"

Some people promote you do more activities now or else ... and some hunt you down for doing other things.

Friday, June 12, 2020

Assembly of Baby Boomers

It's funny how some people think younger people can only know 1 older person well who's really cool, but older adults assemble together.

"A Moment of Truth"

People are professing "a moment of truth" admitting and coming to terms with the belief I am shit compared to everyone else.

Excuse Me for Existing

It seems when something is wrong or weird, I'm the only one in the world in trouble for existing!

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

People want the cheap way out and make up after I'm the most well-behaved all the time, that their unfair life means I'm in trouble, even if I appropriately expressed care in how I acted if I knew them.

Fake Reputation?

So, just assume I'm very highly regarded and take what's most important to me.

YouTube



The German Language

German is a popular language in Europe but only in blood in the US in places like the Midwest, also Scandinavian etc.

People Who Hate People

So, if someone has been trapped, you would say, "You get no food from anyone else because you did not make any."  Also, like a baby kitten, would you leave them in the trash?

"Cards on the Table!"

So, ask something surprising about a sensitive topic, and the snap answer or feeling wins, no figuring it out or presenting enough valid evidence?

Fad

They forget about us and go on to younger generations.

Fresh Memory

I am 34, but I remember when I used to go to science museums for fun and things.  So sad it's all over.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

WOW!

"What's It All About?"

It's not about if you are good and passionate and successful in music, it's about if you're one of those older adults from Early Generation X or Late Boom who pretty much knows how to be "sexual" or motherly.

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Me Playing Xylophone Again Now

YouTube - Comment by Me

I responded to another person.



I can see this "really going somewhere." I wonder if they had to construct their own disguise. What if the children were birds? If they did it live, they could provide gift bags! Usually, it's the kids who present such things and the parents/adults watch and monitor along the way. You know, they do it for a grade in elementary school or junior high maybe or even "just for the fun of it." Pretty soon, they will be dancers who play musical instruments and perform for an hour, a staged drama or musical performance.

Racial Mingling Stopped in Technicality

I might do well with other races, but people are starting to segregate, according to technicality.  I wonder how people are doing with more distant non-White race, maybe became legend or mixed in today's improved conditions... but still I feel a surge of racism applying to me.

It's funny how America can't take it and England and other countries ... can.  I mean America can't take multiraciality.  I mean, like, if someone who was not all White was sitting next to an English person, the English person wouldn't have an episode.  It America, they would have inner turmoil and express it or act it in ways people like Black people can tell.

"Look, Ma, no hands!"

I didn't know people in orchestras can play without looking at the music, especially for their big debuts.

All Blonde

Why should I care?  He doesn't care.

A Funny Picture..

I feel made fun of for not being mean to my dad.  Maybe my mom had me look like him as a baby with a tan..

America

The US is generally about "the big picture."

Bad Thoughts

How could people think badly of me?

Slushie

microwaved Italian ice

Flute

I almost ended up in flute.

Breakfast

Flipping flapjacks!

Breakfast

What to do for breakfast?

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Lame and Ignored

This board I post on is getting lame.  They're probably ignoring me because I'm 1/2 Asian.

Okay, I showered.

I'll probably be in bed soon.

Bed Again

I should go to bed, I just feel too tired to leave my laptop and do my shower.

I woke up to go to the grocery store and prepare some easy soup (just pouring in cans of other things/soups.)  I went back because I didn't realize it went with Fritos.  I feel healthier and better.

Monday, June 8, 2020

Message Board - Post by Me

Topic by Someone Else - Re: What can possibly be said in support of Trump? 

My Reply - Like Tim Burton is Burtonesque but hates being branded by fans like that … Trump is Trump-ette.

Shit

Orlando is shit.  They think they are better than me.

2nd Thoughts

I might not do school.

All Ballet?

Are the only good people ballerinas and everyone else, even those sexy brunette lady violinists, really rebels?  Is this just America?

AA

Backup School Online (The Baptist College of Florida)

Fall 2020
1 - The Humanities: Ancient to Medieval - 3 credit hours
2 - Science - 3 credit hours
3 - Religion - New Testament Survey - 3 credit hours
4 - Religion - Spiritual Formation - 3 credit hours
__________________
Total - 12 credit hours

GRADUATION

I will be able to get a General Studies AA free somehow.

If I go to the other school, it would erase some of my F's from before.

I can probably also do the other school online, but I'd rather go on campus.

AA

Fall 2020
1 - might not need this - New Student Experience - 3 credit hours
2 - College Algebra - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F
3 - Math - 3 credit hours
4 - Biology of Human Sexuality - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F
5 - Science - 3 credit hours
6 - US Government - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F
_____________________
Total - 15-18 credit hours

GRADUATION

I won't have a car Spring 2021!

I hope this is right.

People...

People thought they'd categorize me as a bad person.

AA

1 - New Student Experience - 3 credit hours
2 - College Algebra - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F
3 - College Trigonometry - 3 credit hours
4 - Biology of Human Sexuality - 3 credit hours -  retaken to replace F
5 - Science - 3 credit hours
6 - US Government - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F


I could get my AA in 1 year, Fall 2020 and Spring 2021.  I'll be turning 35.


Fall 2020

1 - New Student Experience - 3 credit hours
2 - College Algebra - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F
3 - Biology of Human Sexuality - 3 credit hours -  retaken to replace F

Spring 2021

1 - College Trigonometry - 3 credit hours
2 - Science - 3 credit hours
3 - US Government - 3 credit hours - retaken to replace F


I could even take them online but would rather not.  It's almost 30 minutes away driving, which I can drive on my own whenever I want now.

Skirted By

I have 2 semesters of F's at Loyola University New Orleans after they recommended me out of my major, kinda makes sense they changed them to W's.  I was already seeking help.  ...  My mom did it.

I was in all General Studies and they were harder than Honors.  Some classes I didn't see anything on the test from class.  I don't know how other students did it.  I had other problems...

School

So, I need to send in transcripts.

Classes I may retake if they still do them, all 3 credit hours each...

1 - College Algebra
2 - US Government 
3 - Humanities 20th Century
4 - Biology of Human Sexuality

I would still have F's in classes I took somewhere else, unless I also retake them here...

1 - Freshman Composition
2 - Fundamentals of Speech

Also, they wanted to help me change the F's to W's, whereas before they didn't, so we'll see.  I can file I was diagnosed with schizophrenia (which I don't believe/seem to have) and recently advised to take a long break and did take a long break after.

Then, I know I will probably need 1 more math and 1 more science class.  I might need to retake those other courses, anyway.

I tried to find out my GPA at my last school, but no answer, as of now.  I know I managed to get 3 A's, 3 B's, and 1 C.  Some classes were less than 3 credit hours.

Happy

I feel with my room clean I am ready to tackle any obstacle.

I can practice violin and study German.  I got a storybook, but also I am making flash cards of the alphabet.

Working wasn't as good with time on the bus, though I can drive now.  School got in the way of me liking to learn on my own.  I need to do violin on my own.. plus college has more general studies requirements I may or may not get back to someday.  I've been picking up here and there it seems.  At least I did both English classes, Speech, Psychology, the last level of Remedial Math, among other things, like History and Humanities qualifying classes.  No science yet, though, and most schools require 2 classes there.  I also did a Baptist religion class and a Catholic religion class, which was level 2 honors my 1st year.  So, when it's fun and if it fits.  I could get back into another community college and retake a class I ended up not doing well in to replace the grade, an F, called Biology of Human Sexuality.  It's okay, not greatly fun.  I had to cover some pictures with sticky tabs.  I could also redo College Algebra there to replace an F.  I finished English 2, Speech, and Psychology.  The other class might have been Intro to Humanities.  So, that's 3 classes to raise my GPA that I might need/use anyway.  I'll have 3 F's left, unless I double up what I did elsewhere.  It seems like a futile pursuit.  I should consider it though in the fall.  I could use the credit, anyway.  I might need an additional Math and Science class after.  I dunno.  I can drive now, at least, and there are different locations for this community college, the big one in Orlando, though another one is pretty big though it calls itself a State College now.  I was thinking of doing violin there, but I really want to do it on my own.  I don't know if I should be going to college for General Studies if I want to get good at violin..  It depends on how I use time or if I have time.  It makes sense for me because I could get a degree and it would free time if I do anything specific in college, like music.  I won't have any General Studies left, at least, I hope.  I still need more Music Theory, Music History, Music Ensembles, Private Music Lessons, and Conducting Class.  It sounds good if Music Theory and History don't get in the way, and Conducting I started once and should be easy though a little time.  I only need 1 more year of Music Theory possibly and maybe 1 more History class possibly.  I just looked, and it takes almost 1/2 hour to get to that community college if I want to pull up those grades, maybe help me out in the future.  I just have to contact them again.  I should look into it now, in case.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Feeling Less Decrepit and Rotted

I think I'm feeling better from eating more, like I got wings at the grocery store and got to eat out or a drink a few times.

Okay, so.

My room is pretty clean and my bathroom is spectacular.

How will I buckle down and study?  I might do it without college.  Violin and German.

Calvary

I'm thinking of going to a Calvary Baptist church this morning.  I think they have longer services than a Catholic church but no classical music.  There's this one by Disney World, too, but maybe an intimidating drive, especially with the kind of weather we've been having.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Papers

I think I went through most all my papers to throw out, now gotta organize some.

Excited to Clean!

I gotta clean my room so I can concentrate and put things in places.

America Extinct

No one "believes in you" if you're not a European native, especially from a desirable country to them at the time.

Latinos Rule

People don't realize that maybe Latinos like the European part of their heritage so much compared to others being racist and stupid.

Being Mean/Evil

Baby Boomers want to assimilate me with people being bad from Generation Y because Baby Boomers are mean/evil and embarrassed of their mistake.

They also compare me to / involve me with their spouses in derogatory ways.

Friday, June 5, 2020

Hurt

Why is it always about waiting, like waiting for the shape of my nose to get better?

Segregation in America

Americans won't stop quitting being American.  Another culture pops up, and they segregate.

Underground Fame

I'm not that established socially.  I'm more of a mystery.

Almighty

Those who know pop culture know power.

Alarm Clock / Radio / Sound Machine

"I ... am ... lovin' it!"

Message Board - Post by Me

(film|boards)

Does anyone know these hits?

It sounds like the first one was made for my cousin and the 2nd for her mom, my aunt, my dad's younger sister. My cousin is a younger female than me.

It really puts people in a position to feel they have a medium to speak through and something to say that is better than me like I'm no good. I've been underground famous, and I never made a breakthrough and I post online like crazy. My aunt just says she's too busy to blog.

2017



2020

Am I all alone?

How ghey!  I don't need a pacifier.

Excited

Tomorrow, I get my Baroque violin fixed so I can practice/play and audition for a workshop in Germany.

English Warning

Some English people act like we should all be cautious and worry about what they say next, even if they don't admit it or insist it's not so.

You know, I am fine.  The world changed on me.

Normal Versus Weird

I wasn't trying to fight good people, I was trying to fit in, where I already belong.

German-American means safe?

So, only German-Americans ... are the only people in America who feel they are safe to feel good in the future? while people are busy acting like everyone else has a chance?

You Have It Backed Up?

Are people just watching me waiting to see if I feel good about things because they think I shouldn't because of my generation?

Like, I am just here and do things and suddenly people pop up and say, "No!" out of nowhere.

Message Board - Post by Me

(film|boards)

Are you proud of your racial breakdown?

Why should anyone not be while others feel "safe?"

Thursday, June 4, 2020

"The Game Plan"

So, what's everyone's game plan, gain energy by not doing all of your schoolwork and stamping out people who do and need a vacation?

"Walking Over Me"

I was already on guard that I would be made underground famous only to have each person I know to step over me like they are a refresher and still have a chance over everyone and I am just being used and my private life also obstructed, like some oblivious joke.

I already knew I wasn't going to fall for this trap and wind up like other famous people in Hollywood, like they made a mistake to become famous.  Other people made it that way for me.